Wow. Crazy busy. The beat goes on and on and on.

My head has been in overdrive pondering the ongoing drama in San Francisco about the comparison of bondage porn with real torture. It has my mind spinning and I feel a little sick.

Melissa Farley, a woman I’ve never met and have only heard referenced twice, in articles focusing on a community that I don’t live in. My only connection to her subject matter is working at a company that she hates because of her own neo-feminist crazy ideology.  So, why is it getting to me? She is not ripping the porno down from the shelves in West Hollywood. She is not asking me, personally, to leave my kinky life in order to stop being a victim.

It is one of her many wacky conclusions that really gets to me.  And I’m having a very emotional reaction to it. It truly bothers me. It’s the conclusion that bdsm porn is in any way related to real life torture. Torture, as in it’s conventional sense. (Go ahead and pull up the Wikipedia page. I’ll wait.)

While Miss Farley has tons of education on me, and has probably interacted with far more sex workers than I have, and might even have good intentions with her comparisons and book burnings, I fundamentally disagree with her based on personal experience. I have worked as a bdsm porn model and I have also been subjected to torture, under the standard definition, while under arrest overseas.  My experience was short, intense,  and life-changing. I’m not going to go into the particulars of what happened, but the experiences are totally different.

I am quite certain of that.

I have journals, photos and paperwork chronicling how I was feeling and what was happening to me the entire time I was having my non consensual experience, and obviously other people were aware of and responding to the situation so I know that happened. There’s also a matter of public record. I (and You with your magical internet powers!) have my journal, interviews and pictures chronicling my bdsm adventures. I can track how a particular shoot made me feel, and can tell you the effect it had on me emotionally and physically.  The comparison of the two makes me sick. My nausea comes from the fact that torture is totally, completely, under any definition a non consensual act.

I don’t understand why Melissa Farley, and, by default, Matt Smith feel that it’s fair to compare the same act committed under completely different circumstances. Having to saw your hand off because it’s in a bear trap and a mountain lion is coming up the hill at a mighty quick pace and giving a kidney to your sister are a lot alike. They’re both major surgery.  They are both dangerous. They both result in the loss of a body part. It’s the context that brings it together. It’s circumstance.

So, there’s my rant and rationale. I’ve tried to keep it short. It’s personal. It’s professional. It’s a gray area as far as that goes. I don’t normally discuss personal stuff. I’ve touched on the non consensual experience in a few different forums as I processed what consent meant to me.  It’s at the core of how I compartmentalize the experience and it really (in the parlance of our time) pisses me off when someone puts the two together without thought. Not necessarily without thinking of me, obviously, but the circumstances surrounding each activity. And the charge that one word can have. And, unfortunately, what the difference between edgy porno/art film and a war crime is.

L8TR

I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  was cruising around the internet the other day, minding my own business, when I came across Jade Indica getting nailed on Sex and Submission (sexandsubmission.com) bBy the amazing Mark Davis! Lucky her! In addition, Dia Zerva is also getting lovingly beaten by Mr. Davis. I’ve worked with both Jade and Dia. They are motherfuckin’ tough, and both love bondage and are very into the moment. I’m going to spend the rest of the day wearing out my Hitachi Magic Wand.

Also, you can catch Jade Indica in my kinky clip store!!

Yay!!

Please go check out my clips for sale store. There’s awesome stuff in there, full of my hot friends including Jewell Marceau, Satine Phoenix, Eden Wells, January Seraph, Jade Indica, Natali Demore and plenty of others!

Buy my porn! I made it for you!

Later, gators-
TFFMB

I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, had a great shoot with Ian Rath, and Fetish Nation (fetishnation.com), and the lovely sub Bridgette, who got to watch me get fucked by this amazing fucking machine. Forced Orgasms is how they’re categorized, but I was 100% in support of cumming, with Bridgette gagged and powerless.  I love giving myself over to sensation, or to another Dom/me, if there’s a dub who has to watch. I throw myself into it, because that’s how I dominate them. Bridgette was dripping wet, to the point of shuddering, from watching me cum.  Fetish Nation has a TON of my shoots, and they’re all top quality. You’ll find all the big names in bondage and fetish models there.  Take a look, enjoy, and BUY MY PORN! I made it for you. Happy March.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

OMG!! LOL!! I watched the latest Hogtied (hogtied.com) shoot starring moi, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  and it was totally awesome. I’ll begin at the beginning and go from there. Hogtied is a guaranteed trip, I tell ya.

The Hair Suspension- I can’t believe it happened! I wrote Lochai before the shoot and asked if it was a possibility and I guess he wanted to do it before I changed my mind. In general, that’s the best way to operate with me. I’d asked Claire Adams about it before, and she told me it was mostly mental, which was true. I do have a funny piece of BTS. Usually, on a set, as a model, you’ll be asked to put your weight into a suspension to see if it’s going to work. I was too much of a chicken to put my weight on my hair, and I told Lochai he’d just have to yank me up. I’m happy he did. It was surreal, to be lifted up by an extension of yourself. Not sure if that makes sense. (I LOVED it so much that I want to get a pic of me in my corset dress hung by my hair with my shoes tied to the floor, super stylized and creepy. It’s my new personal image fantasy.) Watching my feet dangle in mid air was really freaky about this particular scene. And I love when I’m so overwhelmed by physical stress that I can’t think. Awesome.

The Inverted No Wiggle Room Suspension- WTF? I couldn’t move an inch! I totally loved the flogging and am only confused as to why Lochai didn’t beat up my hoo hoo more. Everyone (yeah, I watch my own porn with my friends. We eat popcorn and stuff) was saying “Smack her pussy more!!” It was really tough, and once again I was totally overwhelmed. I didn’t have a clear recollection of the scene because it was another “out of my head” tie. I loved that the breast ties were functional and holding me in place. Did I mention this was a No Wiggle Room Tie?

Lazy Dom Zipper Mind Fuck- AACCCKKK!!! I could see it. I knew what was going to happen, but I was too fascinated to even try to get out of it. I always love when TomKat pops onto one of the sets I’ve been summoned to. Machines are the bomb dot com. Seeing it was the fucked up part. Totally fucked up. I really was genuinely scared by the idea of what was going to happen. I probably should’ve held off on my lasik ’til after this shoot. Haha! I do have to say, though, that I really liked the zipper. I would be totally freaked out to do it again, but I would still do it. I really loved being totally scared, and then it being totally over. It was a “boom” and then silence. My head was going a mile a minute, the button was depressed, and there was a long moment of quiet in my head. Lovely.

The Horrible, Awful, No Good Zip Ties- Those fuckers are mean. You move, they don’t. You wiggle, they dig in. I loved the finality of the plastic. I was stuck. The foot bondage felt amazing and even though it was “only” a hogtie, I felt extremely stressed. The asshook/hair combo is one of my faves, and was rather interesting combined with the zip ties. By the time I was in this position I think I had cum so much during the day that I was exhausted. Forced orgasms… yeah.

Did I mention that? That I was so overwhelmed by the bondage that I couldn’t NOT cum?

What a horrible job I have.

Not.

The only thing I didn’t like about the shoot was my lack of hair and makeup. I’m nearly nude!! But it was my own damn fault for being late. People have been requesting a minimal Berlin shoot, and there you have it.

There was not enough face slapping, but I’m sure if I’m mouthy enough that Lochai may remedy that. (A girl can dream, can’t she?)

Aside to Lochai- My dream has a kilt in it.

I did not count how many times I said “Fuck”, but I’d love to know. Wookie? Drinking Game 4 U??

Party On, Wayne!!

Party On, Garth!!

Shwing!!

And my non linear day continues. Go look at my porn, please.

I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, am incensed that Lochai, the head of Hogtied (hogtied.com) and master shibari rigger, called me a BITCH (that’s right. All caps. Ima plant a cattle prod up that Joe Pesci motherfucker).  I did my first hair suspension for him. I did a guh-rate scene in this week’s Hogtied update, as you can see from the pictures. Lochai, Lochai, Lochai.. what am I going to do with you? Perhaps we need Wookie to mediate a peace. Honestly, this Hogtied shoot is one of the hottest bondage shoots I’ve done. Kink.com is one my two regular gigs, because I only work with the best. I’ll have more to day about Lochai’s poor choice of words, don’t you worry.

A few weeks ago Chanta gave me, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  a challenge and I challenged myself further.
Lorelei Lee is one of her prized girls, and lil Mz Berlin was given a go.
As usual, where there’s gas, I add fire. Tonight my update with the lovely Lorelei Lee goes up on Chanta’s Bitches (chantasbitches.com). It’s a non-rope bondage trial for both of us. There are a few things I would change, but not many. It was a fun day, all around and was a very authentic scene.  You got your enclosure and plastic wrap fetish. You got your forced orgasms, and your cattle prod induced electrical play. And of course, you have me making a beautiful and very submissive woman writhe and beg. Yep. It was a good day. Chanta’s Bitches is one of the best lezdom sites out there, and that’s because Chanta is such a perfectionist, and a professional, and an artist.
Enjoy!!

I, the Fabulous Mz Berlin, am multimedia. That’s right. I’m the first Web 2.0 star.  I keep it real. I make porn. You watch porn, and I want you to buy my porn. I made it for you, after all. In addition to my work with Twisted Factory and Kink.com, I have a Kinky Clip Store where you can get content you will not see anywhere else. In this five part series I made with Mina Meow, you see me reduce Mina to a quivering little slut. The fact that we’re real life friends makes it both easier and harder to break her. I know her limits, her fears, and her turn ons, but she know mine. You see a battle of wills as I tie her up, and punish her ass with the Stainless Steel Anal Hook, and finally shatter that resistance, and she shudders into the orgasm of  surrender. You can feel that in the scene, as I work my mad Domme skills to transcend the relationship we have most of the time, and impose the strict D/s dynamic. Her body responds quickly. I know she wants this, and she’s into it. She gives herself to the rope, and slaps, and harsh talk… and I win her over with my skill and my will. It’s not all about the forced orgasms, and rope… it’s a game. To break someone, to actually have them crumble into you, giving themselves to your will… that’s the magic. And that’s why you should go to my Clip Store and see my work.

So, here’s what I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  posted in the Kink.com forums. I’m tired and am getting in the bath and going to bed.
Lochai rocked it and was awesome. If he doesn’t have me back soon, I will cry and wither away. I need to be tied up. I went through a period last year where I did not want to be tied up, and now I do. So that’s that. Matt? Sabrina? Chanta? Princess Donna? Marty? Lochai? Eden? Do you hear me? Please tie me up a lot this year and be mean to me. I will be good and will attempt to be quiet.

And on with the post from another place-

The first hogtied shoot of 2009 went off without any hitches mostly, caused me to curse (!!!!!), involved ties that I’ve never done and a few that I didn’t think I could, one that I’ve only seen in photos, more authentic orgasms than any other shoot ever (anywhere!!!), a taste of my own medicine and a lazy dom contraption that you can’t even begin to fathom. Seriously. *raised eyebrow goes here*

In addition, I wore less makeup for this shoot than any other I’ve done. Which may not matter to you, but is notable to me. And was my own damn fault.

Because I can’t tell you exactly what happened during the shoot, because that wouldn’t give anyone incentive to petition the man in the jumpsuit to get the shoot published, I’ve decided to tell you why my reactions are worth petitioning for and the basics. It was mostly category 5, challenged the living daylights out of me and made me curse. I don’t think I’ve ever cursed in a shoot as a submissive/bottom/slave/whatever. Seriously. Maybe I’ve let a few go, but nothing on this level. It was ridiculous. I will also say that this particular update embodies the meaning of “helpless”.

I will also say that I’ve been tied up. A lot. By the best. I’m a spoiled bondage brat. And today I did three things that I’ve never done before and two that I didn’t know were even on the table for me. I was genuinely freaked out several times by the predicaments I was in. Which probably led to the whole orgasm thing.

In the future, I’d like more face slapping, but it wasn’t really appropriate ’cause I just had LASIK and the knocking out a cornea would suck. That’s my only complaint, and it’s a selfish one. And I didn’t really care about the cornea thing until I’d typed it and realized that it would’ve been a bad thing.

And you need to see the contraption. Because of my recent LASIK, I could see it. I’m not sure that was a good thing. Which is a good thing. It takes me quite a bit to get worked up, which is entertaining for you.

Which brings me to my point.

Please join me in asking Lochai to fast track this update because it’s super intense, all shot real time (the scenes, not the shoot), and because I’m curious to know how many times I dropped the “F” bomb.

Also, if this shoot is fast tracked it is guaranteed a Drunken Wookie Update. You know you love them.

Not much BTS to report. We got right down to business because I was a tad late in getting to The Armory, Lochai wears kilts IRL which is totally hot, I talked nonstop from the moment I walked in the door because I was so nervous, and the Princess Donna/Mark Davis shoot was going on next door. I offered my fluffing services (twice!) but they were not required. I didn’t really expect them to be, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. Twice. I also don’t think that Lochai was aware that when I’m working with someone that he has the right to gag me for the entire day. I hope that he will summon me again in spite of my verbosity. *raised eyebrow also goes here*

So, that’s that.

Over and Out.

Mz Berlin, the tired