Please visit my “help!” page (located on this blog) to read about my current personal problem. I’m sorry to even mention this on my blog, as I try to keep personal things private, but I really need the communities help. Any amount, any repost, anything will help. Just click anywhere on this post to be taken to the page describing what’s going on.
One Love-
Mz B.

Well, today and yesterday have been very productive. I’ve gotten a lot of cleaning done, worked on my upcoming site and have scheduled myself for the rest of the month. Tomorrow I’m off to the dentist for two crowns. Two down, four to go. But it’s a third of the way there. I’ve been obsessed with getting my teeth fixed since I turned 18. I didn’t see a dentist at all before then, and was in bad shape. This is the final phase of my grand scheme dental plan, and it feels both good and tiring to be this close to the finish line.

I have a lot of appearances on FetishChatLive this month, and if you join you can recieve a text when ever I sign in! I’ll be sure to post here when I’m scheduled and I’ll try to at least twitter if it’s an unexpected play date. I had to swing by The Ivy Manor today and would’ve hopped on if I had remembered my lipstick. It’s so fun to chat with fans and fetishists, and the non kinky guys and gals are usually up for some education. Please check out FetishChatLive and if you’re a fetish model or actress who wants to be involved, lemme know! I totally pimped out Wolf Hudson today. (@wolfhudson on Twitter). I should be doing naughty things to him on cam within a week or so….

*evil laugh*

If you can’t wait util Mr. Hudson is available for me to lovingly torment via a live feed, go check out my work as a cruel Dominatrix  at The Twisted Factory. I’ve beated a lot of ass for CaptiveMale.com. This week I take Wild Bill for a spin, and I think he got a little more than he could handle. We had a fun time, though, and my bondage is coming along. I never needed any help with the verbal humiliation or strap on business, though! I beat Bill for giving Amber Rayne a hard time. I wonder if he’s learned his lesson….

My favorite scene of all time, with Chad Rock is also pretty rad. If you’re looking for me beating ass, Captive Male and Chantas Bitches are the places to go.

K. Gonna watch the news, play with the kitten, soothe the cat and clean the living room.

L8TR!!

Buy my porn! I made it for you!

After arriving in London and acclimating myself a bit to my surroundings, it was time to party!! Here are some pix of Vima and I on stage. We were captured by Josselin of HedonyDesign. Check him out!!

Want more kinky goodness? Check out my clip store!! I made it all for you!

I just spent the better part of an hour crafting a cute picture journal of my trip to London. Not only was it my birthday, but it was also my first successful trip overseas and to Europe. It was lovely, and life changing in a lot of ways.

And then FireFox went bonkers and then I lost my whole post and now I’m running out of juice on the laptop. Ugh. So, here goes nothing. Gonna try to recap quickly.

Before I go any farther, let me state that Tony Mitchell was my knight in shining armor the whole time I was in England I’m super grateful.

Day 1, I walked and walked and walked along the Thames and all through Windsor. I absolutely love the gardens and think they should charge to rent lounge chairs at any park. It was totally reasonable. Not so impressed with Buckingham Palace, but Westminster Abbey and the House of Parliament were Amazing. Saw the London Eye, took a photo, did not ride, got distracted by Dali. And so it goes.

I cannot wait to go back later this year. I’m going to try to criss cross the continent and take advantage of opportunities to travel as much as possible.

This update is going to be the longest ever. I’m going to break it up into evenings. Groovy?

Adios, for now, Amigos!!

Hey! It’s been a busy morning and it’s bound to be an interesting evening! I still have so much to catch up on with my blog, but I have to hurry up and go get in the shower and head over to The Ivy Manor to hop on a cam and entertain the masses! Come on over and chat with me. It’s free to join, and it’s a nominal fee to chat, and even cheaper if there are enough people and I can go into show mode! Ask me questions, I can make fun of your small penis,  you can tell me jokes, or sit with me, face to face via 2WayCam (no extra charge!!), and tell me your deepest darkest secrets.

And I always love bossing people around!

Here is a picture of me, by the lovely Christine Kessler, in the outfit I’ll be wearing. I won’t be in the nude, though! Not in free chat, anyways, and rarely in private. And I never take my bottoms off. (You’ll have to wait for my site to launch or visit Twisted Factory or Kink.Com or MyFetishDiary for that stuff at the moment. Or you could head over to my lovely little clip store. )  You have to impress me. But, just to tease you- here it is. Corset by Jeroen, of Bizarre Design. Amazing. He and Amy Crowder, of WaspCreations.com, are my favorite. Seriously.

Mz, 20" by Bizarre Design

Had a wonderful day today! Got up early, ran late to set, got done early and had an amazing time with Mark Davis, who has worked with me on SexAndSubmission.com for Kink.com. We got to get down without rope or whips today and it was amazing. I’m still a bit spun. I’m very excited about the launch of my paysite. Shooting with all of my favorite people in order to get content has been such an experience in and of itself.

Although the shoot today was all about me being a femme fatale being a completely dirty girl, it was certainly very D/s based. I’ve never interacted with Mr. Davis any other way. I reflected on that afterwards. I suppose I could’ve been mouthier or played a character or whatever, but there was a reason it wasn’t scripted.

I believe that we got some amazing footage and intense photos and can’t wait to see both. I went from glam to smeared eyeliner in two seconds. There were no bdsm accessories but it was just as intense as SAS. Having TMS and Steen right there was awesome and a little awkward, but that’s why I wanted Mr. Davis there so I could just focus on him.

Directing and subbing at the same time is really hard. Not as hard as subbing and topping at the same time, but difficult. All I can really do is put the best people I know together at the same time and then go with it. Working with people I really like, trust and that know what they’re doing is my formula and I think that it’s working.

And in case I haven’t mentioned it before, Mark Davis is my favorite dude porn star ever. Ridiculous. I’m not sure if it’s the accent or that he’s confident enough to pick me up by the throat. Either way, I hope I can get him a lot for the site. Because I am a twisted individual, I can’t wait until I can get him to fuck my friends for my site.

Steen and TMS both said that they didn’t perv out at all during the shoot, which sort of dissapointed me. I’ve totally perved out at shoots. I’ve perved out with other people at shoots.  Do I get a gold star for that? Isn’t that why you’re reading this blog? Because I perv out? And will talk about it, actually do it and take photos/videos of it?  Talk to me!! Why are you here, Faithful Reader? Am I funny, am I hot, do you like the LOLCats? I certainly haven’t been putting up enough free porno lately, and haven’t been very good about updating my Clip Store. I guess I’m just anticipating putting all the pieces in place for my site.

K. Gonna recoup so I can go beat the boys that are bad with Nikki Hunter in the morning. My life, on the whole, is pretty bad ass.

So, after my awesome time visiting with fans both new and old on FetishChatLive.com, TMS and I ran out to Nica Noelles’ house to pick up our new kitten. On the way out we tried to think of names, and we both liked Rose Tyler and The Doctor since we’re on a Dr Who kick right now.  Then I remembered Marla Singer from Fight Club, who is just as much of a bad ass charachter as Varla in Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill. I ran a vote on my Twitter last night (follow me!!! @mzberlin) and Marla won by a mile over Rose. So, that was my lovely evening. Marla seems to be settling in, but Varla is still a tad uncomfortable.  And by uncomfortable I mean totally fucking pissed. 15lbs of pissed Maine Coon. She has way more bark than bite, though and has been hiding, mostly. Marla is attached at the hip, though. She spent most of her first evening here snuggled under TMS’s shirt and they snuggled in bed, too. Once I got in there, I stole her and then we spooned. She is a total cuddle bunny, which I love. She is also probably the most verbal cat I’ve ever met. She loves to chat. TMS and I think she may be part bat, and that the squeaks are her sonar.

Dammit! Marla just peed on the couch! WTF?? BRB.

Varla has been hovering in the kitty/utility room. But she wasn’t even in the house when Marla peed. WTF?

Moving right along, I’ve been setting up shoots left and right. I’ve been dealing with the SF Weekly thing on a personal level and will probably go into more detail later.

I would like to say one thing, though. I never, ever gave Matt Smith the permission to use my name, nor did I give him my full name. He asked for it repeatedly and I told him that I did not want it in the story. Both he and his editor have stated that they did not have to honor such a “request”, but Matt told me he wouldn’t. I even explained that having that information out there would make me feel unsafe, and that I didn’t understand how personal biographical information outside of my experience with bdsm or my nonconsensual experience were relevant to the topic at hand. (Whether BDSM is Torture, blah blah.)

But back to happier things, like all of the fun stuff I have lined up for this week. Tomorrow is FetishChatLive.com, of course, and Friday I have a doctors appointment. Saturday I’m directing my first b/g. Hopefully. Finally. Third times a charm, right??!!

Then, on Sunday I’m working with Venus Girls. Which means I get to see Nikki Hunter! Yay! She does amazing makeup and always makes me feel sexy. The Venus Girls team is so awesome and the shoots are always fun. I can’t wait!!

Next week is a really long one, too. I’m shooting every day but Monday. It’s good, though. Every shoot means that my website has more and more content, which makes me feel accomplished. I’m very excited about the launch of my paysite, as well as focusing on performing and teaching classes.

So, go buy my porn. Links are to the left. (Your left.) It’s all there. Kinky, Clips, Non Kinky, g/g, b/g, bondage….

L8TR

Matt got me! Here is a bts photo by Steen. Enjoy.

Had a great time in London. Hung out with Kumi, Darenzia, Ancillia, Vima and a gazillion other models and kinksters. In addition to performing with Vima (wardrobe malfunction included!) I had the honor of being dressed like birthday princess when I was for the Antiseptic Fashion show on Saturday! Antiseptic knows how to make me feel and look beautiful. Eventually I will pay off my piece and sport it everywhere!! Even better my ass is black and blue thanks to Jade Vixen, Darenzia, N.S., Kip, Viktoria, Maxime Avet, Billy Antiseptic and Stella Maris. I’m sure I’m leaving someone out! (Feel free to spank me for it if it’s you!)
I had to come home a little earlier than I wanted to due to some drama with the SF weekly. Feel free to Google. I’m a tad tired of talking about it today. What’s done is done and all one can do is keep on keepin on!
Daily show, then sleep, then laundry and maybe taxes tomorrow.
To all of those that have sent kind letters and words of encouragement, thank you. It really has helped me through the last 48 hours.
As Always
TFFMB

Wow. What a busy weekend! TMS and I spent Saturday napping and intending to watch Dr Who. I headed over to The Ivy Manor in the early evening to visit with Isabella Sinclaire regarding some exciting plans she has for the future of The Ivy Manor. In addition, I solidified some plans for my next few films, my trip to Europe and decided to start taking private sessions.

My shoot with Dia was far too fun and far too short. I did suspend her and she said it was comfortable, so I’m happy with that. I’ve threatened Ken with coming over and tying up models in front of his camera ad nauseum and he didn’t throw anything at me or run, so perhaps I’ll have some examples of my rigging soon.

Here is a picture of Dia’s ass after I was through with it. She sent this to me from her cell phone.

I went out in my custom Military suit from Fierce Cotoure to my friends’ dance party. It turned quite a few heads! I knew I might be a little overdressed, but it turned out to be overkill.

Busy, busy.

Today I’m doing my nails and working on sorting stuff out for my trip to London as well as working on my website text. I’m very excited about getting my website going and sharing all of the exclusive content I’ve been shooting with my favorite kinksters! It feels really good to produce and direct my own material and I can’t wait to share it with y’all.

Tomorrow I tango with the incomparable Chad Rock. The theme of the shoot is CBT, and as Faithful Readers will know, I play with Chad on my terms. Tomorrow is going to be awesome. I’m trying to get him to stop by the house today. I’m looking forward to engaging in some stress positions with no rope. I know that Mr. Rock loves a challenge, and I want to give him a fun run for his money. I have no cattle prod and I’m over shocking peoples’ fillings so he doesn’t have to worry about that, at least.  *haha*

Matt Smith is supposed to call me sometime today. I want to touch up my hair and hop in the shower, and have to run out and rent a P.O. Box later today. Hmmm. Maybe I’ll call him first. He wants to do a phone interview instead of a written interview. I just don’t want to get taken out of context. I would really like the opportunity to explain my take on his article, so it’s a chance I’m gonna take.

In porno news,  Christine Kessler has put up the photo shoot we did featuring my smallest corset cinched all the way on Zivity! She calls it “Tiny Green”.  Please go check out Zivity and sign up! You get one free vote for signing up and they don’t spam you. C’mon, give it a go.  I didn’t win a bondage award and it broke my heart. Shattered my self esteem. Please up my self-popularity perception. J/K.

Zivity is actually a rather groovy site where you can vote for and view photosets of your favorite models including Darenzia, Angela Ryan, Emily Marilyn…

K. Got to get on it.

L8TR

Wow. Crazy busy. The beat goes on and on and on.

My head has been in overdrive pondering the ongoing drama in San Francisco about the comparison of bondage porn with real torture. It has my mind spinning and I feel a little sick.

Melissa Farley, a woman I’ve never met and have only heard referenced twice, in articles focusing on a community that I don’t live in. My only connection to her subject matter is working at a company that she hates because of her own neo-feminist crazy ideology.  So, why is it getting to me? She is not ripping the porno down from the shelves in West Hollywood. She is not asking me, personally, to leave my kinky life in order to stop being a victim.

It is one of her many wacky conclusions that really gets to me.  And I’m having a very emotional reaction to it. It truly bothers me. It’s the conclusion that bdsm porn is in any way related to real life torture. Torture, as in it’s conventional sense. (Go ahead and pull up the Wikipedia page. I’ll wait.)

While Miss Farley has tons of education on me, and has probably interacted with far more sex workers than I have, and might even have good intentions with her comparisons and book burnings, I fundamentally disagree with her based on personal experience. I have worked as a bdsm porn model and I have also been subjected to torture, under the standard definition, while under arrest overseas.  My experience was short, intense,  and life-changing. I’m not going to go into the particulars of what happened, but the experiences are totally different.

I am quite certain of that.

I have journals, photos and paperwork chronicling how I was feeling and what was happening to me the entire time I was having my non consensual experience, and obviously other people were aware of and responding to the situation so I know that happened. There’s also a matter of public record. I (and You with your magical internet powers!) have my journal, interviews and pictures chronicling my bdsm adventures. I can track how a particular shoot made me feel, and can tell you the effect it had on me emotionally and physically.  The comparison of the two makes me sick. My nausea comes from the fact that torture is totally, completely, under any definition a non consensual act.

I don’t understand why Melissa Farley, and, by default, Matt Smith feel that it’s fair to compare the same act committed under completely different circumstances. Having to saw your hand off because it’s in a bear trap and a mountain lion is coming up the hill at a mighty quick pace and giving a kidney to your sister are a lot alike. They’re both major surgery.  They are both dangerous. They both result in the loss of a body part. It’s the context that brings it together. It’s circumstance.

So, there’s my rant and rationale. I’ve tried to keep it short. It’s personal. It’s professional. It’s a gray area as far as that goes. I don’t normally discuss personal stuff. I’ve touched on the non consensual experience in a few different forums as I processed what consent meant to me.  It’s at the core of how I compartmentalize the experience and it really (in the parlance of our time) pisses me off when someone puts the two together without thought. Not necessarily without thinking of me, obviously, but the circumstances surrounding each activity. And the charge that one word can have. And, unfortunately, what the difference between edgy porno/art film and a war crime is.

L8TR

Seriously.
Ugh.
I , The Fabulous Mz Berlin, am just so good at it. My dad says that he is the world champion, but I’m sure that I would win in a showdown. (Actually, I would win, but I never finished filling out the registration)
I’ve been trying to blog just here, making this my central web place.
Twitter has been getting most of my free time. It’s hella addictive.
I need to clean my keyboard. Ice cream and Apple don’t mix.
Went to the Rose Bowl Flea Market with Miss Kessler and TMS. TMS and I got a globe. Miss Kessler got antlers.
I didn’t see any amazing vanities or articulated skeletons, but there’s always next month.
Shooting tomorrow with Miss Conduct and Miss Kessler. Pornographing is gonna go down. Miss Kessler has acquired a fucking machine. Look for video in my amazing and not always expanding Clip Store!
TMS and I had a come to Jesus talk (instigated by me) about my motivation issues. I haven’t really hit the ground running this year. I’ve done a lot more sauntering. Which is occasionally attractive, but not always productive.
I’m making more lists.
I bought a clip board.
I deleted all of my email.
Not sure if the last bit helped at all, but it certainly simplified things.
Yoga, Yoga, Yoga.
I have enough room, I have enough space, I have a rug, I have everything I need.
Goal- 5x/week, 1 video each time.
Just Do It!
The more you do, the more you do.
I love the way I feel after I’ve been consistently working out for a few weeks, but the first two weeks are horrible.
I should never have fallen off the wagon.
Hopefully I will finally get photos in my corset dress this week, though! My ass is big enough to fill it out.
I’m going to eat some cheese and crackers before I get in the shower.
L8TR

I’m off and running today, but keep up with me on Twitter @mzberlin and, if you’d be so kind, go vote for me and my kinky friends at the BondageAwards. You can vote once a day!

http://www.thebondageawards.com

xo
TFFMB

OMG! Totally posting from my phone. It is so on!! The Fabulous Mz Berlin has no gap between impulse and iteration. Evil beware! Faithful readers will remember when I first acquired my iPhone.

Wow. Life really came at me fast today! I’ve been moving and shaking since I woke up and it feels like there’s no end in site, even though it’s almost 1 am!! I’m still doing laundry, and did quite a bit of rearranging around the house. Bought more shoe storage. I’ve almost got it under control. Almost.
Also worked in the garden. I’m tearing everything out and starting over. I want pretty flowers and ground cover. Right now it’s lots of sea grass. Boring.
Went over to Steens this afternoon and observed Darenzia recovering. We ate cupcakes and watched Pootie Tang.
“You can’t beat a ho! They like that shit!!”
Classic.
I’m working on lots of rad content, with the likes of January Seraph, Satine Phoenix and lots of dirty boys who need to be beaten. In the meantime, here’s a pic from Danni.com
Enjoy!!

Please go check out my clips for sale store. There’s awesome stuff in there, full of my hot friends including Jewell Marceau, Satine Phoenix, Eden Wells, January Seraph, Jade Indica, Natali Demore and plenty of others!

Buy my porn! I made it for you!

Later, gators-
TFFMB

Here’s a cute picture of Caroline Pierce from yesterdays’ shoot-… Is that the Fabulous Mz Berlin in the background? It was nice to have a scoop of vanilla for a change.

Yesterday was so much fun! I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  worked with Caroline Pierce and Frank Towers on a silly swinger series they’re doing. It’s a really cool idea, and I can’t wait to see what it looks like. There were some awesome and unique shots that we stumbled across that I can’t wait to experiment with. Caroline Pierce is lotsa fun.
Grrr. I need one of my shoots to actually come together. The last two fall aparts have been discouraging, even though neither of them were my fault.
I have all of these ideas in my head and I want to get them on film.
Blah Blah Blah.
TMS stayed over last night. I got in after 10 and simply passed out. I was too tired to even eat dinner. Varla was happy with the alone time, though, and I suspect that TMS didn’t mind catching up on Dr. Who.
I did sleep in my collar, which was nice. Haven’t done that in a while. My custom collar from Axsmar. I wear my bracelet all the time, but sometimes the more traditional collar is nice.
So, that’s that.
I’m off to do bills and interwebs stuff.
L8TR

TMS kidnapped me (The Fabulous Mz Berlin) yesterday and we just got back.
Had a rad meeting with Miss Kessler yesterday and it feels like I’m about 2 months away from starting my own very porno empire. Creating my own “brand.” Branding oneself. Marky D. Sade talks about that all the time, and so does my mother.
Weird.
In good news I have booked my 2 favorite porno dudes for my first two movies. Yay!
And a location.
Yay!
My talent got sick this weekend, both of them, and my dp wasn’t available on Saturday, then we did switch it to Saturday, then we were worried about location and the shoot died late Friday night.
It was a sad day in The Kingdom, but life goes on and I was kidnapped and taken up the coast.
Yay!
We drove back today after eating breakfast at a dune park outside of Santa Barbara and took the long way home through the mountains, zig zagging back and forth from wine country to the sea.
We ate at the place next to the Hitching Post last night, which I found ironic. The steak was just as good. And there’s something about hotel beds that just knock me out. And room service.
Room service is totally my favorite decadent thing. Waiting for the creme brulee to arrive was just as good as eating it.
I adore my Mad Scientist. Sometimes madly.
T. keeps using British words, which I filter into my own speech. I’m a fucking parrot. I said “posh” several times in the last day or so.
Fucking Brits!!
K. Bong Hits and Meet The Press for me. Shoot tomorrow up at Big C’s with Darenzia (!!!) and Miss Kessler.
I need to polish my nails.
Black or Red?
My Private Jet or Vokda and Caviar?
I think My Private Jet. It’s a glittery black.
I wonder if Chad Rock is losing any sleep yet..
Dia Zerva and myself? I am plotting and planning away….

AACCKK!!
I’m, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  directing my first two boy girls this weekend. Tom Moore and Lobo are my two dudes, and I’m sure it will go well. I’m tired of being told to “tone it down” on my mainstream porno sets, so I decided to shoot some myself. Highly stylized, highly hardcore. I don’t like wussy boys and most of the porno dudes just want to lock and load. And if I’m directing no one can tell me to “tone it down”. Yay!!
And I know that Tom and I can throw down. You can check out his skills on The Training Of O. He’s worked with Amber Rayne and Cherry Torn, that I know of. And Lobo and I met with me in the control seat. I’d like to give him more wiggle room and see what happens.
The Porno is so weird.
I’ve also finally set up a photo shoot for my Bizarre Design Corset Dress!! Yes!! I’ll be hanging by my hair and tied to the floor. A doll in space. Creepy. Yummy. Hot.
The Fetish is so fun.
The Porno is fun, too, but it’s all very calculated. The Fetish seems more organic, at least as a model. As a porno lady, it’s very formulaic. We’ll see how my directing style works with it. I’m a little nervous, since all of my directing, for myself, Fetish Nation and Twisted Factory, has been bondage based.
We’ll see how it goes.
TMS is shooting it, so it will be beautiful no matter what.
As an aside, making movies is fucking expensive.
But saying I’m a director makes me feel fancy.
Sometimes you have to pay the price.

My Delicious Wasp Creations Corset

Yesterday was so much fun! I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  got to dress up in my WaspCreations corset and be a ’50’s house wife with lesbian tendencies. I did a mainstream g/g film laced down to 20″!! Score!! The video was for Briana Banks, although I didn’t get to meet her, and the director was named Oren and one of the funniest motherfuckers I’ve ever m , et. I would tell you about all of the funny on set, but most of it was completely inappropriate and hilarious.
The photographer was exceptional, as well as funny and I hope to sneak in front of his lens again. (See Achmed The Dead Terrorist Below for some “funny”)
I will tell you that we were all White People Dancing to a bluegrass cover of Gin and Juice. Go ahead, visualize a bunch of pr0n people dancing and singing Gin and Juice with a country accent.
(I am such a giver!)
I drove over at chicken thirty with T., and was put into makeup pretty quick, and my wardrobe was well received. I wore my vintage stockings with the ankle detail. I think this may be their last go-round on camera and I’ll retire them. We’ll see. I also wore my wooden soled ostrich shoes. They are so bizarre.
Aiden Starr, who always finds me funny, arrived while I was in makeup and Dana DeArmond, who I always find funny, arrived a few minutes later. Natalie Minx and Ariel X arrived just before I left. I have no idea what the title of the film will be, but just from the cast selection I can tell you that the glamour, fun and filthy factors will be high.
I’ll keep you posted.
My scene was with Jordan Kingsley, and she was awesome and had a really cute dress on. She was a lot taller than me, and we were on a dining room table, so there wasn’t a lot of room for me to manhandle her, but I’m putting her on my “Bitch” wish list at The Factory. She has great eyes.
I may go to a party tonight, and tomorrow I have lotsa options to choose from. I’ll be sorting it out as the day moves alon/g.
TMS is playing football this morning. Go! Fight! Win!
Happy Valentines Day, Faithful Readers.
Buy my porn instead of sending me flowers!
As Always, don’t forget I have a Video On Demand Theater with 50,000 kinky movies. Yup.
Mz  B.