I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, have been neglecting my super cool video on demand Fetish Theater.  My VOD has over 50,000 movies (not all starring me, for god’s sake) that you can watch on your PC.  Of course, all mine are together so you don’t have to go hunting. This movie, Double Justice, was made with the lovely fetish model January Seraph and I.  It is a testament to the art of CBT.  We both dominate January’s slave, including shoving our fingers down his urethra. Yeah. So if you’re a subby boy, even a secret one, this is the video you want to watch. You pay by the minute, and it’s not a hassle at all. Femdom fans will dig this. January Seraph and her man, Smutty, make great movies that you will enjoy. Enjoy! Also, buy my porn! I made it for you!

TMS kidnapped me (The Fabulous Mz Berlin) yesterday and we just got back.
Had a rad meeting with Miss Kessler yesterday and it feels like I’m about 2 months away from starting my own very porno empire. Creating my own “brand.” Branding oneself. Marky D. Sade talks about that all the time, and so does my mother.
Weird.
In good news I have booked my 2 favorite porno dudes for my first two movies. Yay!
And a location.
Yay!
My talent got sick this weekend, both of them, and my dp wasn’t available on Saturday, then we did switch it to Saturday, then we were worried about location and the shoot died late Friday night.
It was a sad day in The Kingdom, but life goes on and I was kidnapped and taken up the coast.
Yay!
We drove back today after eating breakfast at a dune park outside of Santa Barbara and took the long way home through the mountains, zig zagging back and forth from wine country to the sea.
We ate at the place next to the Hitching Post last night, which I found ironic. The steak was just as good. And there’s something about hotel beds that just knock me out. And room service.
Room service is totally my favorite decadent thing. Waiting for the creme brulee to arrive was just as good as eating it.
I adore my Mad Scientist. Sometimes madly.
T. keeps using British words, which I filter into my own speech. I’m a fucking parrot. I said “posh” several times in the last day or so.
Fucking Brits!!
K. Bong Hits and Meet The Press for me. Shoot tomorrow up at Big C’s with Darenzia (!!!) and Miss Kessler.
I need to polish my nails.
Black or Red?
My Private Jet or Vokda and Caviar?
I think My Private Jet. It’s a glittery black.
I wonder if Chad Rock is losing any sleep yet..
Dia Zerva and myself? I am plotting and planning away….

OMG!!
I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, am posting from my iPhone! Right into my LJ!!
Here is how I feel about that.

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Now I just have to learn how to put all of the awesomeness directly into my dirty bondage blog.
I’m sure it can be done.
It must be done.
Sorry ’bout the lag time on the photos, folks.
As Always
Mz B.

This is where I wanted to be last week, when it was raining in L.A.

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I was unabashedly excited about the dragon parade, dance, lettuce fight and dim sum. Here is the proof I promised.

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Here is one of the bts dim sum lettuce and dragon extravaganza.

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Doesn’t it look like the boxer in the painting above me is about to punch me in the face? I never noticed before. I was staring at my ass. I wonder if that is bad karma or just weird.

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It looks like I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  am trying to run from Lochai, while I’m midair. Haha!
(Yes, that is a full hair suspension.) It’s always a good time at Hogtied.

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AACCKK!!
I’m, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  directing my first two boy girls this weekend. Tom Moore and Lobo are my two dudes, and I’m sure it will go well. I’m tired of being told to “tone it down” on my mainstream porno sets, so I decided to shoot some myself. Highly stylized, highly hardcore. I don’t like wussy boys and most of the porno dudes just want to lock and load. And if I’m directing no one can tell me to “tone it down”. Yay!!
And I know that Tom and I can throw down. You can check out his skills on The Training Of O. He’s worked with Amber Rayne and Cherry Torn, that I know of. And Lobo and I met with me in the control seat. I’d like to give him more wiggle room and see what happens.
The Porno is so weird.
I’ve also finally set up a photo shoot for my Bizarre Design Corset Dress!! Yes!! I’ll be hanging by my hair and tied to the floor. A doll in space. Creepy. Yummy. Hot.
The Fetish is so fun.
The Porno is fun, too, but it’s all very calculated. The Fetish seems more organic, at least as a model. As a porno lady, it’s very formulaic. We’ll see how my directing style works with it. I’m a little nervous, since all of my directing, for myself, Fetish Nation and Twisted Factory, has been bondage based.
We’ll see how it goes.
TMS is shooting it, so it will be beautiful no matter what.
As an aside, making movies is fucking expensive.
But saying I’m a director makes me feel fancy.
Sometimes you have to pay the price.

Wookie, famed and loud and drunk internet bondage porno pundit is doing a play by play commentary on my, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  epic shoot with bondage rock star Lochai!! If you’re a member of kink.com, go check out the hogtied.com forums. And play my drinking game!!  See you in the forums.
As Always
Mz B.

My Delicious Wasp Creations Corset

Yesterday was so much fun! I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  got to dress up in my WaspCreations corset and be a ’50’s house wife with lesbian tendencies. I did a mainstream g/g film laced down to 20″!! Score!! The video was for Briana Banks, although I didn’t get to meet her, and the director was named Oren and one of the funniest motherfuckers I’ve ever m , et. I would tell you about all of the funny on set, but most of it was completely inappropriate and hilarious.
The photographer was exceptional, as well as funny and I hope to sneak in front of his lens again. (See Achmed The Dead Terrorist Below for some “funny”)
I will tell you that we were all White People Dancing to a bluegrass cover of Gin and Juice. Go ahead, visualize a bunch of pr0n people dancing and singing Gin and Juice with a country accent.
(I am such a giver!)
I drove over at chicken thirty with T., and was put into makeup pretty quick, and my wardrobe was well received. I wore my vintage stockings with the ankle detail. I think this may be their last go-round on camera and I’ll retire them. We’ll see. I also wore my wooden soled ostrich shoes. They are so bizarre.
Aiden Starr, who always finds me funny, arrived while I was in makeup and Dana DeArmond, who I always find funny, arrived a few minutes later. Natalie Minx and Ariel X arrived just before I left. I have no idea what the title of the film will be, but just from the cast selection I can tell you that the glamour, fun and filthy factors will be high.
I’ll keep you posted.
My scene was with Jordan Kingsley, and she was awesome and had a really cute dress on. She was a lot taller than me, and we were on a dining room table, so there wasn’t a lot of room for me to manhandle her, but I’m putting her on my “Bitch” wish list at The Factory. She has great eyes.
I may go to a party tonight, and tomorrow I have lotsa options to choose from. I’ll be sorting it out as the day moves alon/g.
TMS is playing football this morning. Go! Fight! Win!
Happy Valentines Day, Faithful Readers.
Buy my porn instead of sending me flowers!
As Always, don’t forget I have a Video On Demand Theater with 50,000 kinky movies. Yup.
Mz  B.

Lobo.
We first met on the set of TheTraining Of O. The lovely Charlotte Vale needed to learn to get beyond her gag reflex. He had the cock and she had the will and I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, did the yelling. Then there was beating and fucking and so on and so forth. And it all went well. He was rather silent that day, and even though I didn’t get a “sub” vibe from him, I love to push guys that take care of themselves. I knew that I had to tie him down and see what was what.
So, Lobo was placed on my wishlist. And then he was delivered to me on set. I really think that this shoot has my best bondage, and Lobo was very patient with me tying him up. The script was called “Special Delivery” and I stressed Lobo to the point of exhaustion. I love when that happens. I love to stress the ones I like and love. I tried to shoot it like a noir film, with lots of smoking and shoes and suspense. I am the humiliatrix supreme in this video and the beat down doesn’t stop. I hope y’all enjoy my little porno film. I made it for you!!

OMG!! LOL!! I watched the latest Hogtied (hogtied.com) shoot starring moi, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  and it was totally awesome. I’ll begin at the beginning and go from there. Hogtied is a guaranteed trip, I tell ya.

The Hair Suspension- I can’t believe it happened! I wrote Lochai before the shoot and asked if it was a possibility and I guess he wanted to do it before I changed my mind. In general, that’s the best way to operate with me. I’d asked Claire Adams about it before, and she told me it was mostly mental, which was true. I do have a funny piece of BTS. Usually, on a set, as a model, you’ll be asked to put your weight into a suspension to see if it’s going to work. I was too much of a chicken to put my weight on my hair, and I told Lochai he’d just have to yank me up. I’m happy he did. It was surreal, to be lifted up by an extension of yourself. Not sure if that makes sense. (I LOVED it so much that I want to get a pic of me in my corset dress hung by my hair with my shoes tied to the floor, super stylized and creepy. It’s my new personal image fantasy.) Watching my feet dangle in mid air was really freaky about this particular scene. And I love when I’m so overwhelmed by physical stress that I can’t think. Awesome.

The Inverted No Wiggle Room Suspension- WTF? I couldn’t move an inch! I totally loved the flogging and am only confused as to why Lochai didn’t beat up my hoo hoo more. Everyone (yeah, I watch my own porn with my friends. We eat popcorn and stuff) was saying “Smack her pussy more!!” It was really tough, and once again I was totally overwhelmed. I didn’t have a clear recollection of the scene because it was another “out of my head” tie. I loved that the breast ties were functional and holding me in place. Did I mention this was a No Wiggle Room Tie?

Lazy Dom Zipper Mind Fuck- AACCCKKK!!! I could see it. I knew what was going to happen, but I was too fascinated to even try to get out of it. I always love when TomKat pops onto one of the sets I’ve been summoned to. Machines are the bomb dot com. Seeing it was the fucked up part. Totally fucked up. I really was genuinely scared by the idea of what was going to happen. I probably should’ve held off on my lasik ’til after this shoot. Haha! I do have to say, though, that I really liked the zipper. I would be totally freaked out to do it again, but I would still do it. I really loved being totally scared, and then it being totally over. It was a “boom” and then silence. My head was going a mile a minute, the button was depressed, and there was a long moment of quiet in my head. Lovely.

The Horrible, Awful, No Good Zip Ties- Those fuckers are mean. You move, they don’t. You wiggle, they dig in. I loved the finality of the plastic. I was stuck. The foot bondage felt amazing and even though it was “only” a hogtie, I felt extremely stressed. The asshook/hair combo is one of my faves, and was rather interesting combined with the zip ties. By the time I was in this position I think I had cum so much during the day that I was exhausted. Forced orgasms… yeah.

Did I mention that? That I was so overwhelmed by the bondage that I couldn’t NOT cum?

What a horrible job I have.

Not.

The only thing I didn’t like about the shoot was my lack of hair and makeup. I’m nearly nude!! But it was my own damn fault for being late. People have been requesting a minimal Berlin shoot, and there you have it.

There was not enough face slapping, but I’m sure if I’m mouthy enough that Lochai may remedy that. (A girl can dream, can’t she?)

Aside to Lochai- My dream has a kilt in it.

I did not count how many times I said “Fuck”, but I’d love to know. Wookie? Drinking Game 4 U??

Party On, Wayne!!

Party On, Garth!!

Shwing!!

And my non linear day continues. Go look at my porn, please.

I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, am incensed that Lochai, the head of Hogtied (hogtied.com) and master shibari rigger, called me a BITCH (that’s right. All caps. Ima plant a cattle prod up that Joe Pesci motherfucker).  I did my first hair suspension for him. I did a guh-rate scene in this week’s Hogtied update, as you can see from the pictures. Lochai, Lochai, Lochai.. what am I going to do with you? Perhaps we need Wookie to mediate a peace. Honestly, this Hogtied shoot is one of the hottest bondage shoots I’ve done. Kink.com is one my two regular gigs, because I only work with the best. I’ll have more to day about Lochai’s poor choice of words, don’t you worry.

For reasons that you will understand after the video.

*I will face my fear. I will let it pass through me.*

George W. Bush should be charged with warcrimes.

I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, don’t always top girls, you know. I shot this scene for Ken Marcus, with my dear friend Satine Phoenix. She’s super yummy, and Ken Marcus really took some wonderful shots that day, but what would you expect from him? Take a look at the whole gallery, and tell me what you think! Also, feel free to stimulate the economy and BUY MY PORN. Danke.

I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, have a full house. T. is out for the night with Mistress Absolute who is in from London. T talks with a Southern and a British accent alternately, which is awesome. I think they’re meeting up with Mistress Nicolette. I think Absolute and I will get along. She’s a double cheek smoocher, which is a good sign.

There’s some name dropping for you fetishy types, and it explains why I’m home with the critters, watching Dr. Who and catching up on Keith Olbermann. I feel bad watching my liberal “gotcha” media shows with anyone else here. I’m afraid that I’m boring them.

For all you Varla fans- She is still So Over the dogs. So Over it and annoyed. She isn’t being aggressive anymore, but is “Tolerating” them. She’s being VERY obvious about it. It’s rather amusing for the rest of us.

In Weird News, there’s another person pretending to be me on collarme dot com, which I am not a member of. And this person is making dates. Again. WTF? I’m totally flattered, but creating and deleting profiles is exhausting.

Attention Crazy Stalker/Impersonator- Please just make me a fan page on MySpace. I don’t have a profile there, either, and you seem to have a lot of time on your hands. And you can just copy and paste the info from here like it’s all *exclusive* and shit. Wouldn’t that be awesome!!? I know that pretending to BE me must be lots of fun, but wouldn’t it be even funner to pretend to KNOW me? I’m sure we can find a compromise. But setting me up on dates in states I don’t live in and at events I’m not going to is hella creepy and I’d hate to have to get litigious on your ass.

And while I’m on a roll, I’d like to publicly inform the “Rigger” that called me a “Diva” that he can “Fuck Himself.” And here’s the what for- you injured me, you did not respect my safeword, you did not respect my limits and you did not respect my request for more safety measures. I won’t even go into any of the BTS bullshit that ensued, but Fuck You. And, seriously, watch the video. You are not a rock star. You got played, and it sucks to be you. Don’t drag my name into any of this or try to place any blame on me. I brought my A game and you brought your B game and then tried to play a hand of sneaky.

You are now, however, totally in the clear to call me a bitch. I’m not a grudge holder. I would also invite you to peruse my blog and LJ. I rarely have anything negative to say about anyone. A good Southern girl knows that if you don’t have anything nice to say to not say anything at all, and I adhere to that with the exception of political figures, the occasional actor/scientologist/artist. This is not my general M.O., but you’ve irritated me to the point of blogging. You should call me a bitch with a spring in your step and a sense of pride.

Moving right along, TMS and I had a busy weekend with T. We went to dim sum at Capital Seafood in Monterrey and in honor of the Chinese New Year a parade went through the restaurant while we were eating. Two dragons fought over some lettuce and we got pelted with it. Awesome.

Had a little party last night. T., TMS, Brandon Christopher and Jen Sincero were on the short list and I made lots of appetizers! All vegetarian, I might add.

Got up and made breakfast for T. and TMS this morning. This house has made me all domestical. WTF?
No, really, I’m lovin’ it.

Back to MSNBC and then, if there’s time, perhaps I’ll watch some Face The Nation.

In the interest of economic stimulus, you should BUY MY PORN, or watch movies IN MY THEATER. Danke.

You know that movie “Mermaids”, starring Cher and Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci where Cher only makes appetizers? Well, I may be headed down that road. I’m absolutely stuck on small food. Having a little get together this evening to showcase my small food making abilities and hopefully get people drunk enough to make people funnier (to me) but not pukier than they may have been before coming over.
My first mainstream boxcover is now out!! And my name is on the cover and everything. Vouyer Media and Jack Napier got together and the product in this case was Jack’s Giant Juggs starring the lovely Mz Berlin!! Yay!! It’s just a silly thing in the scope of things, really. Just a box cover, but I think that it’s a pretty awesome box cover.
Enjoy!!

My Boobs Are Big

Watch this shit!!! Seriously!! It’s good!! And scary!!  I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, get waterboarded in Captive. I’ll let you know the movie is released, because you’re going to want to see it. You have never seen fetish, nor BDSM like this before. No shit.

OMG!!

Captain Jack just made out with the person he stole his identity from!!
Torchwood is rather racy. It’s chock full of sexual twists and turns. Not very ethnically diverse, but they have sexuality covered, yo. Everyone is making out with aliens and people from the past and future. And now themselves.

Looking forward to Season 2.

So, do y’all think that Rove will be forced to testify?
I hope so. If he does I will get cable just to watch the proceedings.

Over and out.