I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, would like to say farewell to 2008 with my third installment in my Chanta’s Bitches (chantasbitches.com) retrospective..  It’s from 2007, and features Chanta’s exquisite rigging binding my exquisite breasts. Of course Chanta has her way with me.  Notice the inflatable dildo that Chanta is using in the above pic.  I have written of my love for Twisted Factory, and Chanta Rose, and I will continue to ring that bell, because I love Chanta. You won’t find better femdom bondage anywhere. Her rope work is amazing, and her scenes are always compelling. Plus, she knows what to do with a bound girl. Chanta’s Bitches and Mz Berlin will be together for a long time to come. You’ll see more of my retrospective of Chanta’s Bitches, as 2009 begins. I have lots to show you! BUY MY PORN! I made it for you.

Ugh.
I’m hungover.
And not asleep.
Signing the lease today.
I’m not a “just up”, I’m a “still up”, but hopefully my concealer will do as it says it should.
Fun night last night. Last minute invite over to Steens’ house to play with latex and eat Halloween M&M’s. They make black M&M’s. Who knew? At any rate, good times. I need to be more social. I just get so freaked out in groups. This one was maybe one person too short, but cozy and comfy nonetheless. What can I say? I want it all!! (TMS???)  ;-)
Since Angela is so gothic, perhaps I wlll buy a bag and take out all of the black ones and get her a nice candy bowl.
I need a coffee.
No.
I want a coffee.
The Boy is being shady. Can’t pin him down.
I fall more and more in love with TMS every passing second. It’s stupid. But if we do crash, know that it will be worth it. Sometimes you have to keep choosing love.
I choose love.
I have high standards. To meet someone that meets those standards and I truly love is astounding.
I’m moving!!
I’m moving!!
K,
Off to TMS’s house to sign lease and possibly collapse. Not sure.
Starbucks first.
I love my iPhone.
I am not happy thus far with season 3 of Doctor Who. Why the fuck would you get rid of Rose Tyler!!?? We were just getting somewhere. I was able to deal with the Doctor incarnation changeamabob, but Rose was my favorite. I want to date The Doctor, but at heart I wish I was Rose. She’s supposed to come back in Season 4 for some reason, so I’m sort of forced to watch season 3.
She chose love.
Goddamnit.
In other news,
Well. I guess there isn’t any. I still love my iPhone, still need to start packing and really need to clean the litter box.
Merry Christmas!! Again!!

This is the second in my Chanta’s Bitches (chantasbitches.com) retrospective. It’s from November 2006, but I (The Fabulous Mz Berlin) can’t remember when it was shot. Look at the beautiful rigging! Chanta is so wonderful at rope bondage (shibari)! Now, you all know I have a problem with cattle prods. Well, this shoot was crazy intense, because it was very heavily into electrical play, with a TENS Unit and cattle prod  (available in my Fetish Toy Box)forcing orgasms from me at Chanta’s will. She has taught me so much about being a Domme, and you can watch my evolution as this retrospective comes along. In these early ones, I am submissive, and pretty good one at that. You get plenty of forced orgasms in this one.  Chanta’s Bitches is one of the best girl/girl femdom sites you’ll ever find, and Chanta Rose will never sacrifice the quality of her work, so you’re guaranteed a steady flow of top shelf bondage.  So, my dear friends, BUY MY PORN! I made it for you!

Happy Holidays, everyone!  I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, want to show you something really fucking hot. If you visit, as you should often, my Kinky Clips4Sale store (Clips4Sale.com) you will see a five part series of Mz Berlin in a lovely black catsuit, and waist cincher, and I am topping Mina Meow (who used to be the goth girl Arachnia Webb).  Mina and I are friends (like January Seraph and I are) and I really enjoyed having the freedom to do what I wanted with her. Trust is a must in this business, and friends tend make better bondage porn than strangers. My Kinky Clip Store has dozens of hot bondage and fetish clips, with me as both a submissive, and a domme. You’ll find something you like. How could you not like me? I’m fabulous! So, please BUY MY PORN! I made it for you!  As a teaser, I’m including the description of the first scene, for which to entice you from ur monies.

Before there was Miss Mina Meow, there was a girl named Arachnia Webb. I was lucky enough to have my first playdate with Miss Mina Meow right after she changed her hair, her look and name. But this isn’t any ordinary play date. This was set up by Fetish Nation, and is my shoot on my terms. I interview, taunt, tease, dominate, humiliate and spank Miss Meow in this clip. I’m dressed head to toe in a slick black latex cat suit and high heel boots, while Meow is also a latex lover’s dream in a spanking dress that I put to good use. And, as always, there was a reason. Meow had been griping about her phone bill and had bought a new pair of shoes for the shoot! I couldn’t believe it. She wanted rope bondage, but she would have to wait. I have a day of device bondage in store for her for that transgression.

(The Fabulous Mz Berlin) Can’t sleep.
Not unusual.
And I’ll be up at 7 fucking AM tomorrow.
I hate when my schedule is fucked up, which is about half of the time.
In Awesome-Time news, I was approved for my apartment.
I’m very excited.
3x the space of this closet, and a garden and a washer/dryer. And big windows. And lots of built ins. And arched doorways.
It was built for Berlin.
And I have to get a chandelier for it, because the guy that’s moving out is taking his.
I suppose I could get a boring light fixture, but that would be, well, boring. And Berlins‘ boudoir is going to be fucking fabulous.
I am going to rhinestone everything. Or most of it.
Except for my bedroom, which will be a zen masterpiece.
My garden will have lilac and maybe a magnolia plant.
Marathon Man is an excellent movie.
Good night.
xo
Mz B

So, I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  don’t want to traumatize anyone, but I know that some of you are curious. About the LASIK, the whole first hand person thing.

Well- This is for you.

I got to the doctors office early. TMS drove me and I ate copious amounts of klonopin once I was all signed in and stuff.  Then I was taken to the back room. There were five chairs and each had a hairnet and a small bag of eyedrops and horrible sunglasses. I put my hairnet on. A dude came and got me and started dumping numbing solution in my eyes. Then he mapped my cornea  with a blue thing that sat on my eyeball itself. I didn’t feel that. It made a printout. Then he did the air balloon staring thing and looked at the inside of my eyeballs. Then we did the whole vision test as it corresponded to my original one. Then I was put back in the room. I sort of dug my hairnet. All of the ladies dutifully had theirs on, while the men hesitated. I told one of them to “suit up!” and he he did. The other dude did, as well. Then the lady called my name and said it was time for me to get zapped. My eyes were pretty numb, and I’d taken my klonopin, but was counting on their valium, as well. I said so and was given a pill. The lady handed it to me, along with a dixie cup of water. I took the valium, crunched it in my teeth to prove a point to no one, then swished with the water and told her I’d need 5 minutes. They called in the lady after me. She came out alive. My world got a little fuzzy while she was gone. I was shuffled into the operating room. I told the doctor that if he over shaved my corneas that I would hunt him down. He promised not to over shave and lose my cornea.  More numbing solution was dumped in my eye and off we went.
My head was balanced between the seat, and three soft pads. One at each temple and one on my forehead. He adjusted for a moment. He fed the machine my measurements and my printed out eyeball corneal scan. Then he dumped more solution in my eyeball and in one deft movement, during which I did not see or feel anything, he placed the Clockwork Orange eye clamp in. It was cool, cold, comforting in it’s durability and gentleness. It didn’t hurt, but I felt the temperature. More stuff was dumped in my eye. Someone complimented my pupils. My left eye was covered up with something black. He told me that I would feel pressure.
My remaining exposed and clamped open eyeball was covered with a black vacuum that happened to be eyeball shaped. I’m assuming they had night vision inside. The second it touched my eye, my world went black and I was thankful that I had been a bad ass with my valium crunching. I felt no pressure, only encompassing darkness.  I focused on breathing. Fractions of a second passed and then the whir of a the smallest bandsaw began. It probably lasted a little over a second and I’m happy that I was paralyzed by my eyeball bondage. The smallest noise. Then it was over. Done. Fast. No pain. He said my flap was beautiful and that there was no chance of flap loss. The suction was removed and with the deftest hands, he lifted the flap. It did not hurt. I was observing myself at this point. The laser was aimed at my eye. Everything was rinsed. All I could see out of my right eye once they placed the laser over me was the biggest night sky you’ve ever seen. Pitch black with red stars, spread out like the milky way. It was pretty rad. Then they double checked my measurements and made sure that the laser was correctly positioned and entered my coordinates (-4.75/-1.25, right eye) and the laser pulsed. There was a funny smell and a vacuum whir. Then another pulse. With each pulse the stars in the milky way moved closer together until they were almost all sort of centrally located. It was beautiful, but the vacuum was distracting.
My flap was put into place. I was rinsed and numbed and taped up with this wierd eye guard thing and then they did they other eye. Everything was the same except for the coordinates. I just observed that eye and the bandsaw didn’t distract me. I thought about its’ precison and nano and micro technology and thought about faith in science.
Each eye took less than three minutes.
I would recommend it to anyone, at this point.
But be sure to take your “azepam” medications with you, because they offer crapola.

There was a time when I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, was a n00b. It’s true. Back in June of 2006, I had my first shoot with Chanta Rose, on her site Chanta’s Bitches (chantasbitches.com) over two years ago.  As I wrote here not long ago, I love working with Twisted Factory, and I really enjoy everything Chanta has done. She’s a taskmistress to be sure, but I love her for that. When she was in Australia recently, I jokingly asked her buy me a koala… and she actually looked in to it.  Kink.com is great, and of course I love them as well, but Chanta and the Factory are in a league of their own. I’m going to be running a retrospective of my work with Twisted Factory, just as I did with my work with Hogtied.  It’s a goose/gander thing. I hope you like it, and I hope you BUY MY PORN! I made it for you!

I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, had Lasik eye surgery yesterday. That was hard on the eyes. You know what’s easy on the eyes? Pretty girls. I’m in a movie called Lesbian Noir: The Pool Girl.  It’s another great lesbian release from Sweetheart Video, and directed by the sublime Nica Noelle.  I star in this movie with my real life friend, Satine Phoenix, and real life hotties Anabelle Lee and Samantha Ryan.  Sweetheart Videos is a woman run company that makes porn for girls. That doesn’t mean that guys won’t like it too, I mean honestly…. Satine and I get naked and cum… I think that skews positive to a huge chunk of the demographic pie.

My Custom Fetish VOD Theater has Lesbian Noir available right now. NOW. You can rent it for a week (online), watch it streaming, or download it to your hard drive. You can also pay per minute so you can … well, we know what you’re going for if you’re paying by the minute. My Fetish VOD Theater has a ton of my movies, things you can’t find in my Kinky Clip Store, and you can watch it all on your computer. Convenient, huh? Ok. You have the data you require to BUY MY PORN! I made it for you!

btw- I know what my cornea smells like when it burns.

It’s been a good weekend.
I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, slept in with the rain falling down yesterday, then watched the news and cuddled with Varla. Went out for dinner with a new friend from the porno world, Mr. Vouyer, at the Formosa. (As an aside, he is the distributor of my awesome flick for Burning Angel Entertainment, “Big Boobs Are Cool 2: Nipples Strike Back!!) I got the mac n cheese, of course. I think I converted him to the wonder of lobster and truffle oil in your cheesy mac.
Today I worked on organizing the family reunion thingy. I think we’ve nailed it down to the 4th of July weekend. It’s going to be an ordeal, but well worth it. We haven’t really gotten together since Gpa and Great Gma died. I’m excited about being the organizer, too. I have the time, and I’m really enjoying all of the phone calls and nailing down the dates. I’ll probably be pulling my hair out in June, but it will be worth it.
After dealing with family stuff I went to get The Boy and we ate at Mels’ Drive In (I had French Toast) then came back to my house to watch some South Park.
TMS is back safe and sound from car racing. I wish I could post the pictures of him in his racing stuff here, but he is only off camera on line and otherwise. When I get to drive the car, I’ll make sure to take lotsa pictures.
I’ve moved my eye surgery date to December 16th, this Tuesday. I talked to Mark and it looks like my schedule is pretty clear, so I’m just going to go ahead and do it. Then I’ll be able to wear makeup by Christmas!
In January news, I am booked to shoot with Lochai for Hogtied! My dirty bondage blog hogtied retrospective worked!! I’m very excited about the shoot. I’ve admired his rigging for a long time and we’ve had a playful rapport when I’ve seen him at The Armory. I still want my dirty bondage blog hogtied retrospective worked!! I’m very excited about the shoot. I’ve admired his rigging for a long time and we’ve had a playful rapport when I’ve seen him at The Armory. I still want my one last shoot with Matt, though!!
I’m going through another bondage slut phase. I just want to be tied up, preferably suspended, all the time. I’m really enjoying mixing corsets with bondage right now, too.
Blah Blah Blah.
K.
Gonna finish Capote, watch the news, clean the cat box and hit the hay. I really need to get my fucking laundry done. Again. Still. It’s perpetual.
This December is not sucking so far. I’m actually in a good mood.
It’s life and life only.(Even the President Of The United States sometimes must have to stand naked)

I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, had a great time topping the luscious Cherry Torn, for Chanta.  As I’ve written before I love working with Twisted Factory, and I think you will see that love in this scene from Chanta’s Bitches (chantasbitches.com). Sweet little Cherry Torn really takes to forced orgasms, and she eats pussy and licks ass like a top shelf submissive.  There is something about a girl who loves a ball gag, and nipple clamps. I tore this girl up, and she took it like a champ, and came a thousand times.  Chanta’s Bitches always always always delivers quality lezdom content, with the best girls in the business.  Enjoy.  Oh, yeah. BUY MY PORN! I made it for you!

Image courtesy of http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/

Hello, faithful readers.
(I will never get tired of saying that.)
I got an early xmas present today. An iPhone!!
(TMS wants clearer photos when I’m on set, I think.)
*woot woot*
It has a hot pink case. I will take photos soon. I want to do an entire iPhone photo set.
I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  will wear all hot pink.
*woot woot*
I spent today with TMS eating breakfast at the new Aroma in Hollywood, activating my iPhone, drooling over shoes at the Barneys’ CoOp at The Grove, and checking out the new Grand Nationals over on Melrose. They are really W I D E in the calf and have no lacing, but I put my name on the wait list on the moc croc penis heel boot. It is supposed to have some lacing and be a bit more fitted. I’ve always love the Grand Nationals, since a co-worker got a pair when I worked at The Pleasure Chest. Such an elegant shoe, but I really prefer a fitted calf.
Tomorrow is GwenMedia, Angela Warrick and Mr. John Fitzgerald. We have some product photos to take, and I have some custom clips that I’d like to do. In addition to photographing my new Bizarre Design Dress, my waspcreations.com corset and some cuffs from Axsmar and Dungeon Delights, I was pleasantly surprised by a last minute offer from Antiseptic Fashion to let me wear one of their corsets. The corset just happens to match my ruby Gucci slippers, which I’m getting ready to sell, so it will be nice to wear them one last time.
Tomorrow night is a date with TMS (who looks and acts remarkably like Mr. Fitzgerald- it spooks me a bit). If we get done with the shoot soon enough, we may go see Transporter 3. I like to support anything involving Jason Statham.
I’m working Wednesday and Thursday, one is a scene and the other is a boxcover shoot. I’m always excited about the former, but the latter sounds like fun! They’ve requested my La Magia specifically, which I thought was awesome.
So, that’s my story.
Also, Bob called today and is fine. He offered to come clean the blood up in my house, but I told him that it was fine. Then he offered to bring flowers, and I really hate flowers because they just die and stink, so I told him not to worry about that, either. Just if he ever found anyone bleeding to take them to the morphine. Pass it along, Bob.
It wasn’t just a Random Occurence. I’m happy that it had an ending.
K.
Ice Cream, News, Laundry, Pack for tomorrow, in that order.
Go.

PS- I have an iPhone!!!

PPS- TMS made me promise a million times that I won’t throw my iPhone no matter who is calling or not calling and no matter what my mother says. I am keeping my old phone just for throwing purposes.

Hello, faithful readers.
Sometimes I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin,  am overwhelmed by the surreality of my life and sometimes I embrace it. This week has been a bit of both.
Let me begin what is sure to be a long and pointless, but probably entertaining blog entry by saying that December is my least favorite month. I do, however, enjoy a nice fruitcake from Harry and David each December, which is what prevents me from jumping off of a bridge, dramatically, in a white dress, clinging to my books and poetry as I fade to black and white before I hit the water.
I have tried to escape December over the years by driving across the country, getting a corporate job, quitting a corporate job, flying across the international dateline, eating everything in sight and engaging in massive opiate intake. None have been wholly successful, although I do believe a combination of some may work in the future, if need be. I am working it out as I go.
This December I have decided Not to Ignore. I am working. I am cruising ahead. I am making lists of shit to do and crossing them off. I am making no radical decisions this holiday season. I have health insurance. My car insurance and student loans are paid far into the future. No crazy vacations.  I am pretending that it is January and all of my Christmas shopping is done. I’m having lasik three days before Christmas, which gives me an entirely different (and potentially life changing) reason to be all dramatic, and I will be expected by the Porno People to be out an about in the New Year as we ramp up to AVN.
Which is completely besides the point, but I’m happy to be trying a new thing this December. I’m going to get a lot of reading done. And hopefully continue to be productive on the web end of things. The time for a website has come.
Which is not the point of this blog.
So, back to me and my week and What Has Happened.
Let me tell you.

Continue Reading »

Neither I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, nor Matt Williams can count.  I did four shoots for Hogtied (hogtied.com) this year, but if you look at the entry for the shoot, Matt (the former head of Hogtied, and current head of Ultimate Surrender) wrote that this was my fifth shoot for Hogtied. Tsk Tsk.  I am 4/5 of a person, hence the Dred Scott thing, but moreover, HOGTIED OWES ME A SHOOT!  Matt Williams was the first man to touch me on camera.  He has a place in my heart because I adore him, and trusted him enough to … well… I trust Matt enought to tie me to a rail by my tits and then attempt to lift me up with a hook. I mean, really, just look at the images.  I trust Matt enough to allow him to do that to me. That’s why my shoots with him are always super hot. I really get off, and I really get turned on with Matt. So, what’s this mean for you, Dear Reader? Simple. BUY MY PORN. The end.

Good morning, faithful readers.
Today, procrastination is on the menu. I just have a few errands to run. (Bank, Post Office, Wacko, a friends house to pick up content)
Then I’ll be home, doing laundry. (she will not do laundry)
I’m very excited about my directing stint at The Factory Wednesday and Thursday. Lobo (who has been on my request list for quite a while) and Chad Rock, who loves my abuse. Very excited!!!  I ordered an outfit for the Chad Rock shoot and it came in the wrong size. La Magia is sending me one in the appropriate size. I hope it gets here in time!! Goddamn Holidays!!
BTW- If you’re looking for awesome lingerie that’s wonderful quality- check out La Magia. I get all of my Kiss Me Deadly there, and love their other lines as well.
K.
I love my dirty bondage blog for lolcats, awesome fan art and naked pictures of me doing various things.
K. again

KTHXBAIMYPORN

I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin have the best fans. This cool gothy image was sent to me recently, in a package wrapped with twine, left on my doorstep. Along with it was a stack of vellum upon which were impressed 39 pages of bloddy thumbprints. I don’t ask questions, and a girl never turns down free art. Actually, this is a really cool tribute, and I’m flattered, and honored at the attention. Thank you! Now, BUY MY PORN! I made it for you!

I, The Fabulous Mz Berlin, am continuing my retrospective of my appearances on Hogtied (hogtied.com) with a piece I like to call, Girl with Big Boobs Bound On A Rack. Although the bondage is hot and heavy, I would say this is primarily a breast shoot, in that my boobs were tied in various ways, and were slapped, my nipples cruelly pinched, etc. I love working for Hogtied… Lochai. Lochai? Are you listening? I… want… to … be… on Hogtied with YOU!  What’s a girl got to do? I mean, look at these pictures! Talk about a pro.  I kid. I love working with Hogtied because they’re always great, and they put out consistently great content, and the Fabulous Mz Berlin only works with the best, babe. Now… off to deal with my laundry. (not).

more animals

My aunt sent me this online Japanese game. You have to give it a go, at least once. It only takes about 3 minutes. No spam or bugs, I promise.

Addictive Awesomeness Here (omg. It’s awful. It’s worse than X-Files movie)

In other news, Matt and Trey’s Top Ten South Park episodes are indeed, quite funny. Face the Nation is the best podcast ever. Eyes Wide Shut was boring, but beautifully shot and styled and completely unsatisfying. Tom Cruise is such a douche. I also got Man On The Moon, which I thought was overrated. Now all I have left is Captivity, which feels like a bomb waiting to happen. I put up suggestions and random stuff in random order. I have no idea what I’ll get next.

Was really productive today. Blog stuff, Clip Store stuff, VOD stuff. It’s all coming together. A pay site is next and I’m very excited about the coming year and tackling that project.

I’m hoping to have my business license by the end of the year. We shall see.

Sleep schedule seems a bit more normal.

Dirty Business is on my dirty bondage blog. Go check it out, yo.